We're facebook friends in real life
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
