Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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