I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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