I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
