So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
