I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She's the barista slut.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Randomize
