I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
