And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Is Oprah even human
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
