and she was petting her beer can
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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