I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
