You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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