We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
