I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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