I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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