yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
