Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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