girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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