Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize