im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i will never coherently bang her
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
