quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
