Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
