the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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