So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
