i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
