I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize