walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
