I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
