so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
