He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
