just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
