Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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