Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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