Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
