On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
