my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
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She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.