oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks