My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.