every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?