and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
