i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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