Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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