you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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