Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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