I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You don't make any sense
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