she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
