will power is for people who don't want to get laid
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
