I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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