I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
