DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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