It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
