maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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