last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
