we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
