i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
