Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize