I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
