It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
