she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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