You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
